your parents love me but you hate me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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