this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
