Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
