Buhtt sex?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
