with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
