Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
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He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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