I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
