I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
MIDGETS
????
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
