Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
