it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
