he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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