he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
3 2 1 whiskey
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
