so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
