she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish i was in the wii world.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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