Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ruined the universe
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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