I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
accomplished twins. life is a go
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she peed on how many people?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
