four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
