if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
