That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize