i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
