saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize