The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
