Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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