all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
