doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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