I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
