it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
