Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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