and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i believe in u and ur pee
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
