Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
