Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
