How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
