Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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