He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
