dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
no, he came in my armpit
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I need moral support for this bender
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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