lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
