If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
