I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
