The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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