That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
