There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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