I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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