Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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