I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
