Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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