so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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