So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
