I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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