After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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