I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
What a dumb baby whore.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
