Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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