Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize