never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My dick has a subreddit
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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