her vagine was all disorganized.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
