Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
